Christmas is HERE!

Dear Family,

i wish i could say i am feeling better then when i wrote last week, but im working on it. I dont know what is wrong with me. But i will tell you about my new area. 

So it is a small small country town in the east part of Texas. I was in the farthest south east part of the mission in Louisiana, and now i am in the farthest north east part of the mission in Livingston. This was an elders area untill 4 transfers ago, so the apartment still smells like stinky boys and it is really gross. But we have a washer and dryer so that is something positive. there are a couple main roads but then everything else is dirt roads. all the roads to get to members houses and dirt, and they are bumpy and its like going on indiana jones ride whenever we are driving. i think i am getting shaken baby syndrome. There are so many rednecks and hicks here i dont know what to do with myself. This is the exact reason why i didnt want to come to Texas and i have avoided it till now. haha i guess i have to face it at some point.The ward is 90% old people, so i guess that is good since i love old people but its just weird going from a singles branch to an old folks home. haha My companion is sister Young. she just got done being trained. her trainer was very controlling so that is how she tries to act with me. So that has been a challenge. But i am pushing her to be more outgoing and to talk to people. the first time we went tracting she wouldnt talk so we just sat there till she was ready to talk. Im not trying to be rude but i am not going to help her at all if i just do everything for her. I have been having really bad anxiety being up here all alone. I never really felt lonely before because i was in cities and there was always people around, but now there is no one and it has been hard for me. But i am trying my best to just put myself here and do what i need to do. This is definately not like anything i have ever experienced in my mission so far. Christmas is almost here and the only thing that makes me happy is that i get to talk to yall! i cant wait. i am going to bawl my eyes out, so im warning you now. haha. it has been really cold here the past couple days and we are so far north that it snows here, so maybe it will be snowing on christmas. 

Im sorry that i am not being spiritual or very positive, but i am just in a hard place right now and i am working on getting over it. So excuse me. But i am still grateful to be a missionary. We have an investigator getting baptized on the 11th, marissa. and then paula who i left in Beaumont is getting Baptized on the 25th. So things are looking up as far as that goes. I hope that yall have a very merry Christmas 

Love you!