Sweating

Hello all my loves! I cant believe that it is monday already. This week went by super fast and July is going by in the blink of an eye. I cant believe that it is almost over. Yesterday was my "Official" six month mark and I have a year left. That is so crazy to me. I feel like i have only been gone for a month or two at the most. But i am loving my mission and This week i really took a look at myself and all that is and has happened and I realized alot of things. First of all, I need to stop complaining about everything. My Heavenly Father loves me and knows what i need, and i dont. I know what i want and what will be easy for fun for me, but i dont know what i need. I need to trust him that everything i am going thru, all the hard times, the rejection, the heat, the companions, the tears, the heartache. all of this is for a reason and i just need to learn from all of these experiences and turn them into stepping stools intead of stumbling blocks. Next thing, We have this paper that is called the ladder of accountability and at the bottom is people like laman and lemuel who just blame and complain about everything and then at the top are people like Captain moroni and Nephi, the people who make it happen and no matter what their circumstances are they make things happen. So i am working on staying on the top of that ladder and making things happen instead of being at the bottom. I am a missionary, a representative of Jesus Christ and I need to start acting like one more. Next is that i need to remember to take a step back and realize that missions are supposed to be hard!  My 18 months have the potential of being one of the greatest learning experiences of my whole life! Even tho i have never read it, i remember seeing a book titled 'If life were easy it wouldnt be hard'. I have taken that motto to my mission. If my missin were easy it wouldnt be hard. It my mission is easy and i never have to work for anything it wouldnt be hard and thus it wouldnt be worth it. I would leave and come home the same person (plus a few pounds from all the food i am eating down here) Things in life that have the most value are the ones that we have to work for the most. And i want my misison to be the best experience for myself and also for my companions so I need to crack down and remember the hard times are worth it. Next, I need to do all i can to be with christ. You may think that because i am on a mission and i go and share the word all day that i am close to christ. Wrong. Satan works on me so hard, some days i just want to give up and give in, But i cant. There are too many people who are ready and just waiting for the gospel. they are sitll in that state of Apostasy, in a famine of hearing the word of the lord and they want it as bad as they would want bread of water in a regular famine, and i can be the one to help bring them out of that state of Apostasy. Our purpose is to invite others to come unto christ. Well how can I invite others to come unto christ if i am not there myself? I need to do all i can to make sure that i am always With Christ so that when I invite others to come unto christ they will have no doubt that i am already there. There are so many things that i need to work on and imporve and it makes me sick to think of the past 6 months that i wasted because i wasnt thinking of these things and i wasnt working on them. so much wasted time but that is what the atonement of Our Savior Jesus Christ is for. We have the chance to repent and to turn away from our sin and to turn towards him and commit to follow him more fully. I am not saying that i have committed serious sins as a missionary, but repentance can be even just commiting to follow the Lord more fully in our lives. and that is what i have realized. Sometimes when i pray at night and think over my day and talk to my Father in Heaven about the day, i may not always have alot of things that i did wrong, but there is always room to improve and Concecrate myself more fully to Him and to the Gospel and Being a missionary. My brain is so full of things that i wish i could tell you. but i have never been good with words so i hope that this all makes some sort of sence. Haha I really had a good sunday yesterday and I really thought about my Savior during the sacrament and how important and sacred the sacrament is. we taught some LA members about the importance of the sacrament this week and it was a good reminder for me. One of the apostles said that if we really could understand how important the sacrament is, we would crawl on our hands and knees to get it. We dont repeat many things in our church, but the ones that we do are the ones that are the most important. Think of the sacrament, we do it every week with the same prayers and in the same way. it is very important. We had president interviews this past week and It was a good time to evaluate myself and how i think i am progressing as a missionary. I was stuck in the mind set that i am not going to learn much from this transfer becasue i am at the bottom of the bottom and i dont get to do or say much but that is the wrong attitude. I can learn and grow from any experiece if i let myself and i do my part. I cant expect the lord or simply just 'going on a mission' change me. I have to work to change myself. and believe me its going to take a lot of work, and 18 months wont be enough time. But I know that as long as i do my part and have faith and trust in my Heavenly Father that I can become the missionary that he expects and the Person that i want to become. I love you all so much! i am so grateful for every single one of you in my life and I pray for you ALL THE TIME. I Hope that all is well and that yall are having an awesome summer and that you are all doing your best to come closer to christ. we all can be closer and there is always something that we can do better every single day. I know this church is true more then i know anything else. I also know that the Book of Mormon was written for us is our day and for the trials that we will experience in our lives and that it can help us come closer to Christ then any other book. I know it is true!  I know that my savior died for me, but more importantly that he lives!

Love sister Hamilton