Staying in B-town

Well i dont have much to say this week cause it was a really bad week for me. Im on the rebound now so hopefully this coming up week will be better.

I had high hope for this week because we got to go to the temple on tuesday, which was amazing. i really miss going to the temple often. when we only get to go once every three months you really start to notice. But when i was in the temple i decided that my mind is on too many other things besides the task at hand. I had to force myself to concentrate and not be thinking about other things. I have been having a hard time with that lately. I Feel like i have depression, but for no reason! im super frustrated, mainly with myself. But i just need to trust in the lord more that he knows what he is doing. I tell myself that all the time and i know it, but it is easier said then done. And i am workin on making it a part of my everyday life. I was sick on saturday and i didnt have the energy to drag myself out of bed. i think it is because the weather is changing. but i was thinking as i was reflecting on my week during sacrament meeting that i can do this. The savior fell on his face in agony for me in the garden of gethseme, and i am denying him when i am not using his atonement in my everyday life. I think because i am a missionary that i am different and i use the atonement in different ways, but no it is the same for everyone and i need to let my savior help me more then i currently do. I tell people all the time to use the atonement and let it heal them but then i am not really doing so myself. i dont think that i will ever to fully comprehend everything that my savior felt, and went thru for me while he was in that garden, but what i do know is that he loves me and he wants me to be happy and know that as long as i do my best that is enough and that he is proud of me. and sometimes my best is just getting out of bed in the morning and keeping a smile on my face during the day even tho nothing goes how i want it to or how it is supposed to. Even when inside i want to scream and give up, And when my companion is driving me nuts. I can do my best. I am so grateful for all of the prayers coming my way. Sometimes when i want to give up i feel strength come and i know it is because all of you are praying for me. Our family is doing well and will hopefully be getting baptized on the12th of october. We are working really hard with them and praying that everything goes well and they will keep progressing. what a blessing it is to be able to listen to general conference this weekend! i hope that yall will really listen and pay attention to the words of our prophet and go with a question that you need answered. Because they are always answered. look at me! my question was answered and it has come to be one of the greatest blessings of my life. I am sorry this is short but just know that i love you and i am praying for you always!

Love sister Hamilton